Divided

10662129_10152321953920064_4737426000016795237_oAfter all the fiasco of the 2016 Presidential election in America, I thought things might calm down a bit. Having watched quietly in the background as years long friendships were ended over a difference of opinion.

I admit to having very strong urges to end a few myself. It really wasn’t about Trump. Or Hillary. It was simply about wanting my inner circle to be filled with people who were accepting of each other…regardless of opinion, colour, religion, or nationality. It was about tolerance.

However, it’s a bit hypocritical to state you want tolerance yet refuse to have someone in your inner circle because of their intolerance.

Oh well, fuck it…it’s my circle and I can do what I want. No one has to sleep with me at night other than myself. I am the only one that has to lie awake after nightmares of intolerance awaken me in the night. Yea…some days it really is that bad. But it started long before this election.

Perhaps it even started when I was a teenager, smacked in the face for the first time by a father I loved so much. All because I fancied myself in love with someone who wasn’t acceptable. More than the pain of the blow, was the crushing of my soul…

It’s still not something I talk or share with anyone this day…but maybe it’s time to stop. Please don’t think you can assume anything about my parents from this post…I am 100% that I was not the only one with a crushed soul that day…

The thing is my parents obviously didn’t share my viewpoints. I obviously didn’t share theirs. As time went by I like to think my father’s views had changed. I never got the chance to ask him before he passed.

Regardless, I am so thankful that I never shut him out of my life.

I see people posting passive aggressive posts daily. I see them speaking of blocking one another. I see long time friendships ending. Over a difference of views.

I understand why. As I said, there have been times I have almost clicked that button to banish someone from my life. Not because I am a sore loser. Not because I hated for one party to win over another (I really don’t consider myself either TBH). I don’t see how anyone in good conscience can support someone who is so blatantly full of hate and set on dividing, not a nation, but humanity. However, I wouldn’t put someone out of my life for their support of him, as maybe they see things differently than I. However, people who have no shame in saying they don’t believe in equality of others. That has always been a reason to place someone outside of my inner circle. Someone that encourages hate speech or body shaming…that truly bothers me and I want none of it.

I like to kid myself and think I’m this all accepting person. That I refuse to judge someone based on body size, their gender identity, their choice of partners, their nationality, their colour, or their religion. The truth is, I just relate a lot to how they must feel. No, I am not a member of the LGBT community. No I am not a person of colour. I am not one of a million things people are judged for. However, I am any of other things that people judge someone for. I am also my own worst critic. I know what it means to feel alone in a crowd and to feel as if I am not accepted. Sure, it might be only in my head. But really, what does it matter? If the feeling is there, it is there. That makes it real. I can sympathize with anyone that feels that way…be it real or imagined. I don’t want ANYONE to feel that way. Especially because of something they can’t help. I want people to know that they are not alone. I might not be like them…however I am not UNLIKE them either. The things that divide us pale in comparison to those things that unite us. I want to embrace these things that unite us. I want a world where those are the things that matter most.

Then we get to the whole choice of people to live as they chose wish. I refuse to put milk in my tea. I now live in a nation where most everyone puts milk in their tea FFS! It doesn’t matter. I don’t like it. I think it’s wrong. On so many levels. However, I wouldn’t dare presume to know what’s best for others. Hell, I ain’t even going to mention it to them. I certainly am not going to take away their milk and tell them they can’t use it!

Perhaps it’s a bad analogy, but that’s the beauty of this being my blog…I can’t write stupid stuff all day and no one can stop me. The thing is, I wouldn’t dare tell someone who they can’t marry another. Even if I didn’t believe in it. I wouldn’t dare tell a woman what she could or couldn’t do with her body. I wouldn’t dare presume to even begin to judge her for making what might or might not be the most difficult decision of her life. I wouldn’t dare be so presumptuous to tell someone that my religion is better than theirs and fuck them and their religion, you now have to follow my rules and I get to decide what you can and can’t do in life. Now you can’t get married to the one you love and you can’t have an abortion…just because my religion tells me it’s wrong and mine is more important than yours.

But I see people do this daily. You don’t have to believe in something or do something to believe that other’s have the right to make their own choices in life. Even choices you do not agree with. That once they know the consequences of their actions, that they are free to act in whatever way they believe the best course of action for their lives might be…Why is that so difficult for others to understand and see?

Finally, back on topic…sorry, all of this stuff is just bubbling up in my head day after day and it’s all I can do just to vomit it all out for you enjoyment…

Seeing these friendships end…seeing all the hurt. Again, I can’t imagine my life had I shut some people out of it because of disagreements. Yes, again, I, like many others, don’t want hateful people in my inner circle. But I can continue to be Pollyanna in my belief that if enough people let others know that behaviour isn’t acceptable, well maybe they might start to question why they have believed it was acceptable….and maybe perhaps change their own beliefs…

HOWEVER….this is a big light bulb moment for me….I won’t shut these people out…even if they don’t change their beliefs. If they want to remove me, they are free to do so. However, I want my voice to be heard. Not just by those that share my viewpoints. I want it heard even more by people who do not share my view points. I want the body shamers to hear me. I want the bigots to hear me. I want the homophobic to hear me. I want the misogynist to hear me. I want the xenophobic to hear me. I want anyone that thinks they have the right to tell others what they can and can’t do with their bodies or their personal relationships to hear me. I will not be silent. I will not quietly push you aside and speak outside of your hearing…as if I am the one ashamed of my views…

Sure, they can continue to quietly post the shite they post. But I will not quietly go into the night…I will be heard….I am going to fucking roar….and if you don’t like…well…FTFRO…

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My Review: The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

handmaids***Spoilers without spoilers***

yea…you read that right…..

So I won’t go into the whole entire picking the novel apart bit by bit….there’s really no need for that….it’s been done waaaay too many times…..This book is studied in schools, banned in schools, made into an opera, a film and is on so many book lists it’s just insane….is it deserving of all of that hype? yea…I reckon it is….I read a quote funny enough whilst reading this book….A story came out in The Guardian and it went like this…

“Some books haunt the reader. Others haunt the writer. The Handmaid’s Tale has done both.”

Yea….I reckon I can see that too….it certainly has haunted me and I can see how Atwood would feel haunted as well….

So I am gonna skip all of that and just tell you….read the book. If you love it…well, you’ll be glad you did….but this is one you can hate and still be glad you read as well….there is so much to ponder here…I can’t see how you would regret not trying this one out….

I would just like to briefly touch on the ending…

Here is the spoiler not spoiler bit I mentioned at the start…..

So many people hated how it ended….I for one loved it….but I often do love those types of ending….

but further than that…..why did it end like that?

This is what I have pondered the most about….obviously Atwood wrote all of her musings AFTER the fact…so why did she stop…..we know that she must have survived at least for a bit after the novel ends, right? She cared enough to write what she did….why? Did she have hope? For Luke? The child? Mankind? Women? Herself???? Was she offering hope? Was she trying to tell everyone that there wasn’t hope? Why…why…why…..more importantly….why did she stop writing?

I wonder if she stopped because she lost all hope…..if without the slim light that her hope offered…well…if it all just extinguished for her…her writing…her hope….even her life….

or was that hope realised and she just chose to walk away from the memories of the past….

I’m pretty sure it’s one of the other….I don’t think in my mind there is any other way….I don’t believe she died in the midst of her writing…I don’t believe she lost the book….

I believe she walked either into that light…or away…

So it leaves me ponder….is there life if there is no hope?

Buy it now The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

Random Book Muses Official Blog

10 books that have stayed with me

10books …here’s my pile…in no particular order….of course I can do lots more piles upon request

Peony in Love by Lisa See

Ghost Story by Peter Straub

Eyes of Prey by John Sandford

Lightening by Dean Koontz

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera

The Name of The Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

The Stand by Stephen King

What’s on your pile?