Musings: Don’t Let Others Define You


Okay….so everyone has chimed in their opinion about the big happenings in the USA….the Supreme Court’s ruling on Gay Marriage….all the fuss…my word….so I thought I would just say a word or two….

Legalized gay marriage has already been a reality in most first world countries for a while now….I find it amusing that so many people are in an uproar over it in the States…after all, it was already legal in a few states anyway! Those that oppose it won’t find much sympathy for their objections in most of the world…sure, there are a few places that might welcome your ignorance, but I’m not so sure that those are the places you really want to pack up and move to….just saying…

Finally….to those that oppose it? The main things I hear are, of course, *good* christians that are against it. That it’s sinful. Okay….so is divorce. Are you protesting your own divorces? Your friends? Are you so vocal about your disapproval of these other *sins*? Or, really, is the whole gay marriage controversy just a cloak you’re wearing to hide your true prejudices? There are so many other things that can be listed….but let’s not get into hyprocosy….as none of us really have time for all that, do we?

Let us instead get to the one that really bothers me. That same-sex marriages, somehow, invalidates a marriage between a man and a woman.

This boggles my mind. I am married to the love of my life….no matter what the future brings, I say that with the full understanding that it’s the truth. It’s a marriage that we weren’t sure would ever happen…for various reasons that I won’t go into….I will only say that our marriage is perfect for us….and it’s personal. Just as my neighbors marriage is personal for them. I think you would be hard pressed to find any two marriages that were alike, actually. We’re all individuals. We all have different limits and ideas of what a marriage should be. We all relate differently. Bottom line, my neighbor’s marriage does NOT define my marriage. Nor should it. Again, it’s personal. It’s between two people….and perhaps their God (if they choose to believe in that). I’ve heard people actually say, “Oh, my husband would never allow that.” or “My wife would never allow me to do that.”…..I mean, really, you could list a thousand different quotes. I bet you have some of your own if you’re married, right? Or you look at your neighbors and perhaps how they go on holidays apart from one another….of all the ways they do things differently in their marriage….but you would NEVER, not even once, say that their marriage invalidates yours, would you? Even though you might strongly disagree with some things they do…

So why would this be any different? Okay, so you don’t believe in equal rights for two people in love…I for one think that’s wrong…I’m all for gay marriage myself…but set aside my feelings….why on earth would you let anyone else define your marriage? I certainly won’t be letting anyone define mine. It’s between me and my husband…no court or God will ever tell me who I can and can’t love…and who I can’t or can commit to….

Love is love….and I’m just damned happy to see some more of it this day and age….to see people commit to devoting their lives to someone else that they love….to be free to do that….well it’s a wonderful day in the States…and I’m glad people are celebrating….and yes, I’m even glad that those that don’t approve are having conversations with those that do….It’s something that should be talked about until it’s no longer a reason for social media to go bonkers….until loving someone of the same-sex is just as normal as loving someone of the opposite sex….



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